Are Emotions Born or Made?

Part 3 in the Understanding your child's emotions series.

A child bursts into tears when plans change. Another child seems unfazed. One child proudly shows off a drawing. Another quietly hides theirs away. Spend time around children and it quickly becomes clear that they do not all experience and express emotions in the same way.

In this post, we’ll look at one of psychology's oldest debates: Are emotions born or made?

The Nature Argument

Some psychologists argue that emotional differences begin long before children learn to speak. Even babies appear to have different temperaments (Thomas & Chess, 1977; Rothbart, 2007). Some seem naturally cautious. Others appear adventurous. Some are highly sensitive to changes in their environment. Others seem more adaptable.

Research has found that children differ in their levels of emotional reactivity from an early age (Kagan, 1984). Some respond strongly to frustration, disappointment or uncertainty, while others appear less affected by the same experiences. This suggests that biology matters. Children do not enter the world as blank emotional slates. They arrive with unique nervous systems, individual temperaments and different sensitivities to the world around them (Thomas & Chess, 1977).

But that is only part of the story.

The Nurture Argument

While biology may provide the starting point, emotional development continues throughout childhood. Children learn from the people around them. Our brains are interconnected – we are social animals who need each other for those brains to wire.

They observe:

• parents and carers,

• siblings,

• teachers,

• friends,

• fictional characters,

• and wider cultural expectations.

  
  

Imagine two children feeling upset.

One hears: "It's okay to feel sad. Tell me what happened."

The other hears: "Stop crying. There's nothing to be upset about."

Both children are experiencing emotion. However, they are learning very different lessons about what emotions mean and how they should be handled. Over time, these lessons can shape emotional understanding.

Children learn not only how to express emotions, but also which emotions feel acceptable, how emotions are discussed, and how difficult feelings should be managed.

One of the most influential psychologists in this area was Albert Bandura. He argued that children learn by observing others (Bandura, 1977). Most people know his work through the famous Bobo Doll experiments, but the principle applies far beyond aggressive behaviour.

Children are constantly observing emotional behaviour. They notice:

• how adults react when stressed,

• how adults handle disappointment,

• how adults talk about feelings,

• how adults respond to mistakes,

• and how adults regulate themselves.

In many respects, emotional regulation is caught before it is taught.

A child who regularly sees adults respond calmly to setbacks may learn something very different from a child who repeatedly witnesses shouting, blame or avoidance. This does not mean children simply copy adult behaviour. It does mean that adults provide powerful emotional examples, whether intentionally or not (Bandura, 1977).

Emotional Habits Develop Over Time

Another way of thinking about emotional development is through habits. The more often children experience and practise certain ways of responding, the more familiar those responses can become.

For example:

• A child who is frequently helped to identify feelings may become better at recognising emotions.

• A child who is encouraged to reflect before reacting may develop stronger self-regulation skills.

• A child who repeatedly experiences situations as threatening may become more cautious or anxious.

This does not mean emotional patterns are fixed. Quite the opposite.

One of the most encouraging findings from developmental psychology is that emotional skills continue to develop throughout childhood and beyond (Vygotsky, 1978). Children are learning all the time.

A Contemporary Perspective

The traditional debate often asks: Are emotions inherited or learned? This might not be the most useful question. Emotions emerge through a combination of things:

• bodily sensations,

• previous experiences,

• context,

• prediction,

• learning,

• and emotional concepts.

Rather than viewing emotions as either born or made, it may be that emotional experiences are actively constructed (Barrett, 2017).

The brain is constantly trying to answer a question: "What do these sensations mean?"

To answer that question, it uses past experiences and learned emotional concepts. From this perspective, children are not simply born emotional. Nor do they simply learn emotions from scratch. Instead, they gradually build emotional understanding through thousands of everyday experiences. Every conversation. Every story. Every disappointment. Every success.

Every interaction with other people. All contribute to how emotions are understood.

Why This Matters

At first glance, the nature versus nurture debate may seem like an academic discussion. In reality, it has important implications for anyone supporting children. If emotions were entirely fixed from birth, there would be little room for change. If emotions were entirely learned, biology would not matter. Most evidence suggests neither position is correct.

Children bring temperaments, sensitivities and predispositions into the world (Thomas & Chess, 1977). At the same time, emotional development remains remarkably flexible (Vygotsky, 1978). This is good news. It means that relationships matter. Conversations matter. Emotional literacy matters. Modelling matters.

Supporting emotional development is not about changing who children are. It is about helping children build the skills and understanding needed to navigate their emotional world.

A Quick Example: Imagine a child who becomes anxious when facing something new.

• A traditional explanation might focus on temperament. The child may naturally be more cautious than others (Kagan, 1984).

• A social learning explanation might focus on what the child has observed from adults (Bandura, 1977).

• A constructionist explanation might explore how the child has learned to interpret bodily sensations associated with uncertainty (Barrett, 2017). All three explanations may capture part of the truth.

Psychology is often less about choosing a single explanation and more about understanding how different explanations fit together.

Key Takeaway

Children are not born as blank emotional slates. Neither are their emotional futures predetermined. Emotional development arises from an ongoing interaction between biology, relationships, learning, experience and culture. In other words, emotions are not simply born. And they are not simply made. They are developed.

References

Bandura, A. (1977). Social Learning Theory. Prentice Hall.

Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain.

Chess, S., & Thomas, A. (1996). Temperament: Theory and Practice.

Kagan, J. (1984). The Nature of the Child.

Rothbart, M. K. (2007). Temperament, Development, and Personality.

Thomas, A., & Chess, S. (1977). Temperament and Development.

Vygotsky, L. S. (1978). Mind in Society.

Watson, J. B., & Rayner, R. (1920). Conditioned Emotional Reactions.